A New Day, A New Perspective

Decisions, Cross Roads, Challenges and Me

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askvilleEvery now and then I find myself at a crossroad in life.  A time and place where you know you need to choose a direction, make a decision and that the choice you make will affect the rest of your life. 

I’ve sat at this crossroad wondering how I got there, trying to look at it objectively and thinking that once I saw the decisions I needed to make in the clear light of day, there was no debating, no wondering, no hesitation at all, the choices are simple.

You see, when I moved away from my ex husband my self-confidence was gone, my self-esteem was non-existent, and my self-worth was hiding in a dark corner somewhere.  The verbal and emotional abuse had taken its toll and it has taken a long time to get back to…me.

So, after going through a very rough holiday season where I spent a lot of time alone, grieving and generally feeling sorry for myself, I suddenly realized that I was choosing to feel alone, choosing to grieve, choosing to feel sorry for myself.  I had to stop and think about that awhile.  What else have I been choosing either by doing nothing, trying to ignore things, or just not dealing with things I knew I needed to own up too?

The answers have astounded.  How did I find them?  By truly looking at where I was and thinking about how I want to be remembered when I’m gone.  If I were to die 3 years from now, what would the people in my life say about me?  I didn’t like the answers my mind came up with.  I have a lot of work to do.  There’s nothing like visualization to get your goals clearly back in focus. 

One thing I’ve learned is that it takes far more energy to sit down and put up with things, force yourself to accept things, and look the other way, than it does to stand up, take responsibility, own up to your mistakes and take charge of your life. 

When you find yourself feeling bored, unhappy, depressed, or just down, ask yourself why?  Are you choosing to feel that way?  Or are there things you are allowing to go on in your life that are not in sync with who you are and what you believe as a person?  Either way you have choices, you have options and possibilities.  Stand up and take action!  It will change your perspective and your life.

Cherry Coley (c)

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6 Responses »

  1. Very inciteful post. When my son was 9 weeks old, I told my husband to leave. I had been walking on eggshells for 5 years of marriage. I did not want to raise my son in a home filled with my tears, his father’s angry silence or berating words, never knowing what we’d come home to, and just plain abuse in many forms. My focus became my son. My love for him gave me the strength to give us a better life. It took me many years to heal from what had happened during my first marriage. More than 13 years later, I am remarried, have a daughter, and know I made the right choice. Thanks for sharing.

  2. Dear Cherry…thank you for this uplifting post! Throughout the stumbles in life at least we have the power to push ourselves back up to walk in any direction we choose. Not all time will someone be next to us to take our hand from our fall…we can only depend on ourselves =)

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