“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them – that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” – LaoTzu
I have been nominated for the Versatile Blogger and Beautiful Blogger awards from my friend Katrina – http://freedomtoafulllife.wordpress.com Katrina is an amazing writer and has a wonderful blog!!
Now 7 (more) random things about myself,
I love meeting people and hearing about their adventures in life.
One of my favorite authors has always been David Morrell – and I got the chance to spend half a day talking to him while I worked at the bookstore.
I am STILL shy.
I still don’t like math.
I love horror movies.
I like to read young adult fiction.
And my nominees are:
I wish I could pick so many more bloggers to win these awards because there are so many that are great!! This is only a small sampling of the wonderful blogs I have connected with.
I am a bit behind so….
I first want to apologize for it taking me so long, then second want to thank jennysserendipity.wordpress.com for nominating me for the Kreativ Blogger Award. Her blog is amazing with photo’s, stories and informative articles for
Here are the rules for those nominated:
- Copy the Kreativ Blogger Award logo and place it in your post.
- Thank the person who nominated you and link back to their blog.
- List 7 things about you that people might find interesting.
- Nominate 7 other bloggers for their own Kreativ Blogger Award.
- Leave a comment on the blogs you nominate to let them know about the award.
1. I love baking.
2. Is looking forward to summer, but my favorite season is Fall.
3. My favorite holiday is Thanksgiving because that holiday is about being thankful and spending time with friends and family.
4. Hates insincere people.
5. Is thinking of starting an above ground herb garden.
6. Loves miniatures.
7. Loves old houses and historical landmarks.
Here are the 7 blogs I nominated for this award. These are some of my favorite blogs full of creativity and insight, please take a moment to check them out! There are many many more!
A friend of mine told me that when you lose one parent, you are still okay, because you still have the other one. You hurt, you grieve, but you have someone to share it with and you still have that foundation of where you began. When the other parent dies then your world is shaken. When the other parent is gone then you lose a large bit of your soul, your heart and your identity.
I did not experience this at first even though it was only two and a half months between when both of my parents passed away. No, I went through the gut punches of grief when it knocks you to the floor now and then out of the blue, I have felt lost at times, but that has gradually gotten better.
The actual experience like my friend described hit me in the month of May. May, the month I was born, and Mother’s day. It is also the month that see’s the end of another school year.
It was a humbling thing to realize I would never again celebrate my birthday with my mom. My birthdays have never been grand or a big deal anyway, but mom always made it a point to make a cake, get a mushy card and a gift of some kind. She made sure we all did something on THE DAY, not when it was convenient later.
I found myself distraught on my birthday and the days that followed. Unable to stop the tears and such a great sense of loss that just would not go away and a heart that felt deeply wounded all over again. Then in a moment of great sadness I opened a drawer while unpacking and ran across a card. A birthday card from my mother, it was from last year I think, but it still made me smile.
This month has proven to be one of the hardest months I have ever lived through. The passing of time has been so present, so prominent starting with my birthday and ending the month with my oldest daughters’ graduation. It is a bittersweet time for all of us, as she is having a difficult time with the grief too and fighting back tears that her grandparents won’t be there to see her graduate.
Yet, it is a time of renewal too because just as it is a notable end to some cycles in this life, the month also marks the beginning of a new cycle, the start of a new path for both of my daughters and myself.
My oldest daughter will be walking the stage to say goodbye to high school and onto a path of her own choosing including college and the adult choices that she will face along the way.
My youngest daughter is graduating 8th grade and will start her journey through high school and preparing for her future and the dreams she holds dear.
I spent the better part of last week in a muddle, second guessing things I had no real business second guessing because – guess what – my friend was right, you do indeed seem to lose a part of your identity with the loss of both parents. So it became a time of meditation, prayer, wise counsel, and choosing to remain true to the path I have chosen.
So the hardest month became the darkest tunnel, and now with the beginning of June in sight, the light is shining again. We go forward, we press on, and we will walk through until we reach the other side and find ourselves, our dreams and each other again.
Cherry Coley ©
Lord, where we are wrong, make us willing to change; where we are right, make us easy to live with.
“It doesn’t matter where you are, you are nowhere compared to where you can go.” -Bob Proctor
I have had to battle the demons from my past the last few days. Those memories that haunt and an attitude that wants to settle around me like a dark cloud and seep into my skin to become a part of me again.
A close friend of mine told me that I should stop writing positive drivel and write about a lot of the crap that I’ve experienced along the way. I told him that no one would believe all the stuff I’ve been through, not that it didn’t happen, but that there is so much of it. Truly, most people experience one or two major mishaps in life if they are unlucky enough, but I’ve had so many that even I sit and shake my head in wonder at why I am still here at times.
He also told me that I have a great talent for description and that if I have something to say then just say it. Well, okay, but I will do it my way, not yours.
For the last few days and especially last night, the darkness tried really hard to reassert its self and last night I went to bed feeling like I was losing the battle, that I had failed and should just write everything that happened, reliving it all in vivid detail as I did. I had nightmares all night.
The thing is, while I was experiencing living with an abusive, narcissistic, sociopath and that was after being in a rather odd relationship with another one previously, I had become a ghost like reflection of who I once was. In those years I was just a shell of a person functioning on the outside, putting up a good front so that things would seem normal to those who looked on.
I still had a positive attitude even then, though I struggled with it and it was only surface deep. I still believed in better days and that the sun would shine.
In talking to my friend something defensive in me woke up. It wasn’t a whimpering, sad shadow either. He kept asking me how I could be so positive after so much. My unwavering answer is because NO ONE CONTROLS ME! No one controls my attitude and my outlook except ME!
Whatever the world and life throws your way, you CAN come out stronger, better, but it’s a choice. You have the power to CHOOSE how you apply the events and mishaps in your life. You can learn from them and become stronger, or you can let them take you down, dwelling on them, feeling anger, revenge, helplessness, and relive them over and over. I choose to learn, to get up and to keep going. I choose to believe there’s more that life has to teach and offer.
I don’t just think the sun will shine again and that better days will eventually be here….I KNOW.
For me, it’s no longer faith as much as it’s experience. When you’re up against that cliff and there’s nothing to do but to step off the ledge, you can be sure that God is going to catch you, or teach you to fly. The thing is that in order to go forward, you do have to move, faith is grown by action, not waiting and life is about choices.
Cherry Coley (c)
- Is Your Cup Half-Full or Half-Empty? Attitude is Everything (briansmithpld.com)
- Living Without Excuses (gettingbetterman.wordpress.com)