I have made my niche in Life Coaching about inspiring people to create their legacies. I continue to believe that this is so very important. I had asked my mom and dad repeatedly to write down or even record the stories from their childhood and life together. They never really got around to it, but mom thought about it a lot.
Their whole generation of our family is now gone. It is up to the children to gather photos, gather information, and try to write down memories so that so much of that era in our family is not forgotten or simply lost. A legacy is so much more than just monetary and items. A legacy is about family, friends, experiences, memories, and so much more. It is a goal of mine to leave my children with rich legacies not just of “stuff,” but of loving memories, shared and passed down.
I did not ask my parents much advice or for much of anything this last year, however, I did talk to them every day, and after dad passed away in September, I talked to my mom sometimes two or three times a day. I did not get to spend the time with her that I wished I could have. I would be lying if I didn’t say I have some regrets, I think that everyone has some when you lose someone.
I had spoken to my mom just a few minutes before she passed away on Monday, Dec. 12th. She had not been feeling well and when we all tried to call her back to check on her she never answered the phone. She had already changed residences, we just didn’t know yet.
The days following mom’s passing proved to be nerve wracking and emotionally almost impossible. I kept longing to call her over the smallest things. The feeling and “want” would not be satisfied no matter how much I told myself she was gone. So I did the only thing that made sense to me. I started a journal just for her called “Dear Mom.” So for every time I wanted to pick up the phone and call her I would pick up my journal instead and write to her. It helped some because I was (in a sense) talking to her, though I could no longer hear her replies.
I am not sure where this journal will lead, whether it will just be a personal thing, or whether I will later share it with others as a sort of tribute or memorial to my mom. Right now it is an outlet that allows me to deal with not being able to talk directly with her. As the days go by it has been a way for me to work through the grief, cloudy days and heal.
I know there are brighter days on the horizon, but it will take a bit for the sun to shine my way again. Either way I will make sure my children remember.
Cherry Coley (c)