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Quote for March 26th

“Where there is an open mind, there will always be a frontier.” – Charles F. Kettering

Motivation

“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. 

Well, neither does bathing, that’s why we recommend it daily.” – Zig Ziglar 

Just Listen..and Appreciate

“When you really listen to another person from their point of view, and reflect back to them that understanding, it’s like giving them emotional oxygen.” – Stephen Covey

Quote 02-24-2013

“It’s not what you’ve got, it’s what you use that makes the difference” – Zig Ziglar

Share Some Love

Spring is almost here.  Amazing how quickly time passes.  Valentines day is quickly approaching.  It makes me wonder how we allowed all of our holidays to become so commercial.  I love Valentines day candy and the stuffed animals and treats are pretty cute, but it’s a lot of hype for “showing love,” that shouldn’t be limited to one day of the year.

I like to keep my family all “loved up.”  My kids know they are loved every day, not just one.  We tell each other on a regular basis, show each other often and have fun just being together.

Valentines day is great and of course another day to enjoy sweet treats and pampering, but sharing love is something that never gets old. 

Take a moment to show the people in your life you appreciate them, tell them, do something nice, and let them know they are loved.

Cherry Coley (c)

I Want My Mommy!

Today I miss my mom.  It’s not that I don’t miss her every day, but today the gaping hole in my chest where my parents used to be was hurting more. 

I had been doing so much better, I was moving forward, getting things done and looking forward to the future and SLAM, grief strikes again.  I hate that. 

Grief has a way of popping up at times and turning the world upside down when you least expect it.  It’s just the way it works unfortunately.  The name of this round of grief is called – “things I wish I’d done differently.”  The worst part of this round was not thinking of the things I would have done differently with my parents, (I went thru that part last year). 

This was about things I wish I’d done differently in other areas of my life, with my ex-husband, my kids, my school days, and all the time I wasted doing stuff that didn’t really matter or turn out the way I wanted in the end. 

My kids are growing up so fast and I still have questions, but no more answers.  There are things that they bring up and do that I don’t know how to approach, so I make suggestions and do research.  I feel inadequate at times, though I know it’s not true. 

If my mom were here she would listen to my worries and insecurities and tell me to “suck it up,” and “karma works,” then smile and even laugh at me because I put her through many of the same issues and how well I remember that. 

The things we thought were so fun as kids – like staying out too late, and talking on the phone all night, are not so funny as a parent.  Life is a circle, that’s for sure.

I am thankful for the time I had with my mom and my dad.  I’m thankful they always had my best interests at heart, even though they didn’t always understand me. 

I am thankful I have two daughters, that remind me that life goes on and sometimes you have to look back to appreciate where you came from before you can go forward. 

Cherry Coley (c)

Related articles

• Monday Musings: Grief (loveboldly.net)

Spilled Cookies – New Look Coming Soon!

Time changes everything.  I have been on a soul-searching path for several years now, last year was a time of grief and rebuilding and that is an ongoing process.  Rewriting your life and changing direction takes time, courage, lots of study, self-evaluation and learning to humble oneself to be open to change itself.

I will be working to change SpilledCookies to go in a new direction as my life is changing as well.  This blog has been a great way to gain insight and self-confidence, to share points of view, to trade ideas and I have enjoyed writing here. 

I am not saying goodbye, but instead saying there are better days ahead!  While I have shared some personal stories here, a lot of my posts are my point of view about different subjects, the new site will hold more of each, plus a new adventure/outreach I will be starting soon.  I hope you will enjoy the new SpilledCookies even more.

Cherry Coley (c)

My philosophy for Spilled Cookies still holds true:

The End or the Beginning?

“Every Beginning has an end, every end had a beginning.” 

It’s a funny quote that can lead to some deep thought if you let it.  It’s sad sometimes when things come to an end.  There are a lot of things we don’t like to see end, yet everything in life has a beginning and an end.

When relationships end it can be a sad event.  You don’t really want them to, but things just start to drift apart.  Sometimes you can stop the drifting and sometimes you can’t.  I’ve been in relationships like that where things just changed and it was time for the relationship to change too.  On a few of those occasions I was fortunate enough to see the relationship evolve and become a lasting friendship, in other cases it was simply time to say goodbye.

How we respond to the changes in life can help define who we become.  After all, if there is one thing that is constant and certain in life it is the fact that life will change.  We will lose people, animals, friends, family, in our lives.  They will leave, move, die, or just choose not to be a part of our lives anymore.  It’s just the way things go. 

We have a choice how we will respond to these changes.  We can hold on for dear life and choke any chance for reconciliation or healing out of existence.  Or we can learn to truly love with an open hand and realize that love, friendship, all relationships (other than those of parent and child) are a choice.  Actually, in some ways I suppose the parent and child relationship is a choice too. 

Keeping in mind that the people in your life are there because they CHOOSE to be there can lend a different perspective.  Realizing that it’s a choice that they are there can make a you appreciate the other person more, treasure and make the most of your time you do have together instead of wondering why the person falls short of all the expectations  put on them. Take a moment to appreciate that they are there because they care and they want to be there, and maybe a different approach is what is needed if there is stress in the relationship.  Take a break.

This is life, there are no dress rehearsals, no redo’s, no rewind or erasing moments that suck.  You get what you get and you don’t throw a fit.  BUT…isn’t it nice, we have a choice, we can get up in the morning and change our attitude to thinking that each day, is a new beginning and then make it happen.

Tomorrow, will be the start of something new.

Cherry Coley (c) 

Related articles

• Lesson Learned (tylatimes.com)
• People come and go…life goes on:) (palife11.wordpress.com)
• Lifelines: Endings and beginnings (scotsman.com)

Rain and Memories

It’s cold and raining again.  Kind of unusual weather for Texas.  This is the first steadily cold winter I can remember.  Usually, we have bi-polar weather that can’t make up its mind from day to day.  One day it will be 70+ and the next in the 40′s. 

I’m not complaining.  I like the steady cold temps, I’m not sure I’m carried away with the grey days though.  The rainy grey days make me feel mellow, and somewhat sleepy. 

It reminds me of grey days I spent with my mom growing up.  Often she would make chicken and dumplings, have me help her roll out the dough then cut it in strips to put in the pot. 

Rainy days were great for reading, watching old movies, listening to music, or just spending time cooking.  It’s pretty much the same now with my kids.  I like rainy days now and then.  There’s something soothing and nice about listening to the sound of the rain and watching it trickle down the windows. 

Cherry Coley (c)

Related articles

• Friday, January 11 Forecast Discussion (wtok.com)
• Cold & Rainy . . . I like it! (myearthtime.wordpress.com)

Seize the Day!

Seize the Day.

The past is to learn from, the future is to look forward too, but the present is here and now where we live. 

There have been times in my life when I have worked hard and enjoyed a sense of accomplishment when I finished projects at work ahead of time.  I worked to organize the work load, delegated and worked with others to see a task through to completion.

I can get caught up in the moment of trying to get a job done, finding new ways to do things, and helping others to succeed. 

One thing I haven’t fully mastered is that you have to make down time too.  Making time to relax, breathe in, enjoy the scenery and just take in the moments.  I do this in small increments, and take the time to meditate and exercise, both of which are important to help you recharge body, mind and spirit, but they can’t take the place of taking a vacation.

Sometimes I have to take time to just wander.  It’s in those moments when I am wandering that I find enlightenment, my creativity and then later, my next path.  J. R. R. Tolkien said, “Not all who wander are lost.”  I firmly believe and identify with that.  Sometimes I believe we need to wander a bit to find our way.

Looking back there is another interesting thing I found from time to time on this journey.  There were times when I simply waited to do something because I was waiting for approval.  Or I found excuses for not doing what I said I really wanted to do.  Excuses like: “the time isn’t right,” “I don’t have the money”, “I don’t have the resources”, or “my kids are small, I’ll wait.”

I can say that now I look back and the question becomes, did I want to do it?  I must not have wanted it very much because I just quit and never pursued some of the things I said I really wanted to do, I let my excuses get in my way.

Now, I know we all have the ability to direct our own thoughts, control our emotions and choose our destiny.  We can stop and become more aware of our reactions to situations. We have the resources we need in our life right now, if we will put away the obstacles and get out of our own way so we can see them. 

There are people around you every day that can offer suggestions, provide connections, mentor us, or even offer a helping hand for the things we wish to do.  How will you know what you can do or what resources you have until you seek the answers and take a chance on yourself?  Don’t give up, take another look, ask for a different opinion, and make new friends, you never know what you might find.

Cherry Coley ©