“It’s not what you’ve got, it’s what you use that makes the difference” – Zig Ziglar
“When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets dark, you don’t throw away the ticket and jump off. You sit still and trust the engineer.”
– Corrie Ten Boom
Like ripples on the water everything thing we do creates an effect on our environment and the people around us. Yesterday I was feeling rather blue and had several friends that were kind by calling to say they were thinking about me, or texting me to cheer me up. One of them helped me to see things in a different light as he often does.
It’s important to surround yourself with people who are interested in learning about you and who you are. People that share some of the same interests, have opposing opinions and aren’t afraid to share them, and people who are just fun to be around. We all really need a variety of friends to spend time with and keep us on our toes, to offer our support and encouragement, and to share with and learn from.
I have a couple of Eeyore type personality friends that have a sarcastic sense of humor and a realist outlook that borders on gloom, but they are good-natured and I love hearing from them.
I am thankful for the people in my life. We are all here to work together and help each other along the way. Each of us have our unique gifts and talents that make us who we are. It’s such a thrill to meet someone new and have the time to get to know them.
Cherry Coley (c)
Time changes everything. I have been on a soul-searching path for several years now, last year was a time of grief and rebuilding and that is an ongoing process. Rewriting your life and changing direction takes time, courage, lots of study, self-evaluation and learning to humble oneself to be open to change itself.
I will be working to change SpilledCookies to go in a new direction as my life is changing as well. This blog has been a great way to gain insight and self-confidence, to share points of view, to trade ideas and I have enjoyed writing here.
I am not saying goodbye, but instead saying there are better days ahead! While I have shared some personal stories here, a lot of my posts are my point of view about different subjects, the new site will hold more of each, plus a new adventure/outreach I will be starting soon. I hope you will enjoy the new SpilledCookies even more.
Cherry Coley (c)
My philosophy for Spilled Cookies still holds true:
“Failure is not necessarily at the end of the road. Many times it is the beginning of a new and more exciting trip.” – Zig Ziglar
I used to think that multitasking was one of my strongest talents. I juggle a lot of things at the same time. Yet, this past year I kept finding myself having to slow down and focus on just one thing and at times it felt inhibiting, frustrating even.
The problem with constantly multitasking is that you never truly master the “one” thing if your time and focus is on a lot of other things at the same time. There are times when single-mindedness is a true blessing and there are some people who have the gift of focusing so intently that they stay with the “one” thing until they understand it through and through before moving on to the next thing.
Those same people with such extraordinary focus sometimes complain about not being able to multitask. To me that is the balance the universe threw in just for fun and another case where we are shown that we need each other to make things run smoothly.
Balance is something that is sought by most people. There are tons of books written about how to gain balance in work and home life. There will be just as many more written in the future as we all try the different solutions to find the one that best works for us.
For those people who are able to attain balance, they must stay aware and keep on top of their circumstances and events in their lives to keep the balance. We all struggle at some point.
The answer lies within the person seeking balance.
For me, I have many projects and interests that I weed down to a few. From that point I take those that are related to each other and group them together. If they can be done around the same time then all is well, if not then each project will be allotted its own time and energy individually. Some projects will be put aside until other projects are finished. It’s important to prioritize.
Balance is vital to keep up a healthy, mental, emotional, social, and physical life.
I read a quote the other day in the book – “The Success System that Never Fails” – by James Allen. The quote said, “Eventually you will be controlled by your circumstances, so it’s important to control your circumstances now.” I’ve thought about that quote a lot since then, I can’t think of a better call to action, to get up, take responsibility for your health, your surroundings and your life right now than that.
Cherry Coley ©
This year, don’t just do what you’ve always done, unless you are successful in every area of your life, have everything you ever wanted and are perfectly content with who you are.
It’s up to you to stretch your limits, discover your possibilities and reach for the best in yourself. It’s up to you to dream, create a vision for the future, to plan, to gather your resources and go forward…..or not.
How many times do you catch yourself thinking, “I wish I could….” or “I wish I had…..” Wouldn’t it be grand to have unlimited funds to work with? What if you had no limits? Perfect health? What would you do? Would you chase that dream? Write that book? Or just go on an all-out spending spree for a while? Climb a mountain? Travel? So, what’s really stopping you?
If you find your passion, that “thing” that is you, that makes you rise in the morning with a smile on your face, and go to bed with a “can’t wait until tomorrow” feeling, and determine that you WILL see it through, then there is no obstacle that can stand in your way.
You have the ability to do what you want to do. Chances are the resources you need are within your reach already or will be when you get up and head in the direction you need to go. We have a variety of people in our lives, each with different talents, different abilities, different connections, and most would love a chance to make a difference or help.
So what will you do next? What can you do? Will you work towards your dreams and goals, or will you just go to work and get that paycheck? There’s nothing wrong with working a steady job, after all we all need an income in order to live, to pay bills, to eat.
Question is, is that enough for you? If you are living your dream already then you are one of the truly blessed. If it’s not enough, if there is something more, then go after your dream. Be true to yourself, and do all you can, life is short, get up and get busy.
Cherry Coley (c)
When you make excuses about why things didn’t get done, or create obstacles to use as an excuse to give up on that project, diet, or exercise routine the only person you are really hurting is yourself, right? Wrong. Like it or not we are all part of a community of sorts. We each have friends, co-workers, and family members in our lives that pay attention to our choices and decisions. What you do and don’t do, affects the people around you.
Someone who make excuses about meeting deadlines, or personal goals rarely exceeds anywhere else. I know for me I have to be careful because the excuses try to slip in there unnoticed when I least expect it. “I can’t go jogging tonight, it got dark outside too quick,” or “I wound up running errands for other people the last few days and it threw me off my whole routine.”
Life happens, accidents, incidents, whatever might come up can either be worked in, worked around, or incorporated into daily routines if you are really committed to a positive goal.
Let’s make 2013 a year when we reach our goals. Let’s make it a year of encouragement for the people around us, the year to do random acts of kindness and start something good.
I am determined to do some charity walks this year so I have started training to be able to reach those goals. It’s something I used to do quite often, but it’s been awhile. I look forward to doing my part, to giving back, to raising money for good causes and most of all, I look forward to crossing the finish line and knowing I stuck in there and made it!
2013 is going to be a great year! Let’s do this!
Cherry Coley ©
Don’t give your strength and focus to the things that you want to be rid of in your life. There’s no such thing as living in the past. What you are actually doing is spending your time now thinking about things you cannot relive or change.
It’s human nature to reflect on situations and experiences. We look back wishing we could experience an event again, or be with a person one more time, or maybe go back and change something, not say something, or do more for someone than we did at the time.
The most useful thing about the past is that if we let it, the past can guide us to live a better future, to pay more attention to details and what matters, to spend our time more wisely. Life is a journey and the path behind us reminds us of where we’ve been, what we’ve been through can encourage us to keep going and can remind us that we will be able to handle whatever comes our way.
However, unresolved issues, grievances and hurts can make a person think too much on what once was, how they wish it were different or long for those that have moved on.
There are a lot of people hurting and feeling alone. You are not alone. You are not the only one hurting. You are remembered and loved. You are not forgotten. It’s amazing what these words do and how they can make you feel.
If you are hurting, reach out and talk to the people you care about and that care about you. You aren’t imposing, even though you might feel like you are. When someone truly cares they are happy to know they can help. Let them help, let them have the blessing and the loving feeling that comes when you allow someone to help you. Someday you will be in a position to help someone else that needs it and the blessing will be yours.
Today center your heart and mind on where you are and where you want to go. Greet the day with the spirit of gratefulness for the blessings in your life. You still have things you enjoy, people you love, opportunities yet to be realized and exciting new things to experience. There is much to be grateful for each day.
Train your brain and heart to be both grateful and aware of the things and people around you. You will start to notice a change in your outlook and it will make a difference in your life and the people around you. Like ripples on the water, the attitude of one affects others around them.
Start today putting the past in its place so you can embrace your future dreams and live in the present.
Cherry Coley ©
The news of the Connecticut shootings made me angry, then heartbroken. I cannot begin to imagine the pain the families of the victims are feeling, or the pain of the children that survived and have to deal with great loss so early in their lives.
I don’t believe we should ever mention the criminals in these types of crimes. They should remain nameless – “Devil Walking” – that’s how they should be referred to. Never should they be reported by name, never should they be remembered. Take away the fame and the pictures, the stories of their lives. They are a Devil Walking doing unspeakable harm, and that’s all anyone needs to know.
If they are brave enough to live through their crime spree then they should forever be stripped of their identity, they should have their names taken away and be made to spend the rest of their lives sending financial support to the families of the victims. With a consequence like that they might think before committing such crimes. Where are their rights? They gave them up when they took the lives of others.
Yet, the mass shooting Devils perform the ultimate cowardly act of committing suicide and going down in history. Stop it! They don’t need to be remembered. The innocent lives they took – THOSE people are worth remembering, they were stripped of their lives, their hopes, their dreams, all taken in an instant.
On the flip side of this I can only say that mental instability is a growing problem. The answer - don’t just pray. Prayer is good, but prayer is NOT ENOUGH! Get involved, be aware of the people in your life. Take time to get to know them individually. Take time to find out what they are going through and if they need help, offer it if you can, or offer them a place to genuinely find help, above all – CARE.
There are at this very moment people all around each and every one of us that are hurting. The economy is bad, there are people going through job loss, financial worries, sickness and dealing with losing family members and friends. How many people do you ask how they are doing each day, and actually stay around to hear the answer? Do you just want to see them smile and say “fine” So you can go on your way? Would you like someone to ask you how you’re doing and know that they care what you say next?
It’s interesting how in an age when we are all so “connected” with social media sites and texting, we are disconnected for the actual events in each other’s lives. Those people that share their problems in the social media world can be shoved to the hidden lists or skipped over if they complain too much, or if things never seem to get better for them, God forbid the issues last too long. It’s easy to stop answering the texts or stop checking on someone if they are continuously having a hard time, don’t move on, or things don’t improve after a while. We are not a society that breeds patience.
Seeking help for working through problems, divorce, grief, job loss, abuse, health problems, from a therapist needs to stop being a stigma. If you need the help, get it. Stop worrying about what the masses think or say, it doesn’t matter what the social world thinks, what matters is that you are healthy and living the best life possible.
What’s that saying? It takes a village to raise a child? How about we rewrite that to read – it takes a community of caring individuals working together to create and maintain a healthy environment to live in. Let’s start today, reach out to the people in your life and get to know them, you will be glad you did and so will they.
Cherry Coley ©