The End or the Beginning?

“Every Beginning has an end, every end had a beginning.” 

It’s a funny quote that can lead to some deep thought if you let it.  It’s sad sometimes when things come to an end.  There are a lot of things we don’t like to see end, yet everything in life has a beginning and an end.

When relationships end it can be a sad event.  You don’t really want them to, but things just start to drift apart.  Sometimes you can stop the drifting and sometimes you can’t.  I’ve been in relationships like that where things just changed and it was time for the relationship to change too.  On a few of those occasions I was fortunate enough to see the relationship evolve and become a lasting friendship, in other cases it was simply time to say goodbye.

How we respond to the changes in life can help define who we become.  After all, if there is one thing that is constant and certain in life it is the fact that life will change.  We will lose people, animals, friends, family, in our lives.  They will leave, move, die, or just choose not to be a part of our lives anymore.  It’s just the way things go

We have a choice how we will respond to these changes.  We can hold on for dear life and choke any chance for reconciliation or healing out of existence.  Or we can learn to truly love with an open hand and realize that love, friendship, all relationships (other than those of parent and child) are a choice.  Actually, in some ways I suppose the parent and child relationship is a choice too. 

Keeping in mind that the people in your life are there because they CHOOSE to be there can lend a different perspective.  Realizing that it’s a choice that they are there can make a you appreciate the other person more, treasure and make the most of your time you do have together instead of wondering why the person falls short of all the expectations  put on them. Take a moment to appreciate that they are there because they care and they want to be there, and maybe a different approach is what is needed if there is stress in the relationship.  Take a break.

This is life, there are no dress rehearsals, no redo’s, no rewind or erasing moments that suck.  You get what you get and you don’t throw a fit.  BUT…isn’t it nice, we have a choice, we can get up in the morning and change our attitude to thinking that each day, is a new beginning and then make it happen.

Tomorrow, will be the start of something new.

Cherry Coley (c) 

 

A Word About Friendship

Sometimes you just want someone to listen, to hear what you have to say, not to try to solve your problems, roll their eyes, laugh at your issues, but really just to listen and be there.

Surprisingly it’s not that easy to find those people who just listen.  Many times when you try to describe something you are working on or through, the person you’re talking too gets all caught up in the description, or the event, and starts trying to solve the problem or begins giving advice before you even finish what you were saying.  If it continues then you can just wind up getting frustrated, pacifying the person and acting like you’re listening to what their saying, even though they are way off the subject you started trying to talk about, and finally just being glad when the conversation is over.  It makes you so much more grateful for the person that can just listen.

I love the friends that walk beside me and can listen to be babble along for awhile, even when I’m not really talking about anything in particular.  I love the people who can sit in silence and not feel like they have to keep talking just to fill the void.  I like the entertaining people who I can just laugh at, watch and be entertained by because that’s just part of their personality and who they are.  I love my deep thinking friends who do research and watch documentaries, because they share information with me and I learn all sorts of new things without having to look it up!  Friendship is one of the greatest privileges of being human!   

I confess that it bothers me when I see one friend taking advantage of another.  It’s terrible to be in a relationship where one person takes another for granted.  Being married to someone who made me feel like I didn’t matter for too many years has made me determined to be far more careful with my choices of who I spend my time with. 

No person should take another person for granted, whether a friend, a romantic interest, or a family member.  We should try to spend time with people who lift us up, encourage or challenge us to be the best we can be each day.  We should also remember that technically the people in our lives are there by choice.  The only exceptions to this are our family members, but even they have a choice at some point.  When you stop and think that relationships, no matter what they are, should be cherished, and well attended, then the idea of taking advantage or for granted floats away like leaves playing in the wind.

How much happier and content would all relationships be if we just take the time to show appreciation for the people around us?  No one has to open the door for you, or make coffee at work or home, no one has to take time to answer the phone or listen to you, no one has to make you dinner, or make sure you got home okay, no one is required to be courteous, it’s something we do because we care, and because being appreciated and acknowledged is important and a feeling we all crave. 

It’s important to show appreciation to the people in our lives.  Take a moment today and everyday to say thank you, offer a kind word, make an encouraging gesture, it doesn’t take anything grand or over the top, it’s the little things that count. 

Cherry Coley ©