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Family
Happiness
“Some people pursue happiness…others create it.” – Anonymous
Now and then in the midst of the daily struggle and grind, stop and remind yourself that you are – at this moment experiencing a miracle. Each breath that you take is a life giving miracle. Can you feel the heart beating in your chest? Another miracle. No doctor or scientist can explain life – they can look at it, study it, pursue answers and seek to protect and prolong it, but they can’t explain it.
Now that you have experienced the miracle of being alive, think about the miracles that allow you to learn, to read, to have emotions, to experience life. Amazing what we take for granted most of the time.
Joy, laughter, happiness are around you – created for you to experience. The birds singing, the whispering leaves in the trees, the soft touch of the wind in your hair, the warmth of the sun on your face, all wonderous things in this life for you to enjoy.
Wouldn’t it be great if humans acted with the joy and abandon of a dog being let outside to play? They run full out, leaping and rolling, barking and howling into the wind, giving it their all in a moment of pure joy! Can you imagine a place where people could play like that?
When was the last time you just went outside, closed your eyes and listened to everything you could hear for awhile? Amazing when our mind is relaxed, eyes are closed how much we can hear.
Or the last time you ate a plate of fruit in low light – so you can better savor the flavors of each one and allow yourself to only concentrate on the taste?
Take a moment to try something different, remind yourself of the little things that can bring joy each day. Life is too short to rush through in pursuit of happiness, find your bliss in the little things, then share a smile with a friend.
Cherry Coley (c)
Related articles
- How to Take Control of Your Happiness (lifehack.org)
- Inspiration from the Daily Om (ourlastembryoblog.wordpress.com)
Wednesday Thoughtfulness
photo by Casey Keal
“Learn the wisdom of compromise, for it’s better to bend a little than to break.” – Jane Wells
As children get older and go on their way to self discovery, parents sometimes get nervous and worried about the paths they are choosing to go down. We hope and trust that we have taught them right and that they will hold true to the principles and knowledge they’ve gained while growing up.
Yet, there is a time when each person asks the question, “who am I and why am I here?” “What’s my purpose?” “What am I going to do with my life?”
Some figure out the answers to these questions early on and hold true to their dreams, growing and learning, constantly reaching for their goals and owning their destiny.
Others of us go through different stages of growth and self discovery, a journey that lasts a lifetime, filled with ups and downs, leaps of faith, grand mistakes and endless opportunities.
No matter the background, whether born into a life of plenty, or growing up with a struggling single parent, we each own our own destiny. It is our response to life, to the challenges that we face and the choices that we are given that make us who we become. Our perspective, our ability to remain open and humble enough to admit when we are wrong so we can learn new ways to do things can make all the difference.
I’ve been a parent now for over 19 years, and I am learning as I go. I am not perfect and don’t profess to be, and neither are my children. Yet God put us together on this journey for a reason. Together we will face the future, learning from each other, facing obstacles in our path and offering hope and encouragement when needed.
Take a moment today to be thankful for the people in your life, whether friends, family or co-workers, we each have a purpose for being in the life of the other.
Cherry Coley (c)
Related articles
- Ways to Cope as a Newly Single Parent – Parenting (everydayfamily.com)
- Self-discovery (positiveoutcome.wordpress.com)
Decisions, Cross Roads, Challenges and Me
Every now and then I find myself at a crossroad in life. A time and place where you know you need to choose a direction, make a decision and that the choice you make will affect the rest of your life.
I’ve sat at this crossroad wondering how I got there, trying to look at it objectively and thinking that once I saw the decisions I needed to make in the clear light of day, there was no debating, no wondering, no hesitation at all, the choices are simple.
You see, when I moved away from my ex husband my self-confidence was gone, my self-esteem was non-existent, and my self-worth was hiding in a dark corner somewhere. The verbal and emotional abuse had taken its toll and it has taken a long time to get back to…me.
So, after going through a very rough holiday season where I spent a lot of time alone, grieving and generally feeling sorry for myself, I suddenly realized that I was choosing to feel alone, choosing to grieve, choosing to feel sorry for myself. I had to stop and think about that awhile. What else have I been choosing either by doing nothing, trying to ignore things, or just not dealing with things I knew I needed to own up too?
The answers have astounded. How did I find them? By truly looking at where I was and thinking about how I want to be remembered when I’m gone. If I were to die 3 years from now, what would the people in my life say about me? I didn’t like the answers my mind came up with. I have a lot of work to do. There’s nothing like visualization to get your goals clearly back in focus.
One thing I’ve learned is that it takes far more energy to sit down and put up with things, force yourself to accept things, and look the other way, than it does to stand up, take responsibility, own up to your mistakes and take charge of your life.
When you find yourself feeling bored, unhappy, depressed, or just down, ask yourself why? Are you choosing to feel that way? Or are there things you are allowing to go on in your life that are not in sync with who you are and what you believe as a person? Either way you have choices, you have options and possibilities. Stand up and take action! It will change your perspective and your life.
Cherry Coley (c)
Related articles
- Clearing The Fog Of Divorce (sincemydivorce.com)
The Biggest Mistake
I look back on my life and realize I’ve made some major mistakes along the way. We try to avoid mistakes when we can. No one likes making mistakes, whether they are big or small one’s mistakes have consequences and no one likes the fall out.
The way we respond to our mistakes says a lot about our character and how we approach our lives. Successful people learn that making mistakes is not a bad thing. Mistakes can teach us what to do and what not to do.
Mistakes are choices we’ve made that haven’t worked out the way we thought they would. However, the benefit of making mistakes is knowing we are taking an active part in life, we are trying, we are making choices and even though some may wind up being mistakes, if we learn from them then there is still a benefit.
Benjamin Franklin said, “The man who does things makes many mistakes, but he never makes the biggest mistake of all – doing nothing.”
I thought about that statement today, the biggest mistake being to do nothing. How true a statement is that? There have been times in my life when I was afraid to move forward, to take a chance for fear of making a mistake. There have been opportunities that I missed because I took too long to think things through and choose to move forward.
To live, to really live, is to make the choice to participate, to meet new people, try new things, experience life. To experience life means to make mistakes. It’s okay, there may be consequences, but you can learn from the experience. Just don’t make the biggest mistake by choosing to do nothing, the consequences for that one is called “regret” and regret is a hard thing to live with.
Cherry Coley (c)
Related articles
- Making Mistakes: The Key To Success? (musechaser.wordpress.com)
Touched By An Angel
Aunt Marlene and Mom
Tonight I watched “Touched By An Angel.” I haven’t watched that show in years, but it caught my eye while flipping channels for a moment.
It was a show about a drug addict that had a baby and Monica and Andrew worked to help her get clean. Being television it all worked out just in time and just fine on screen. It really was a good story. I miss the gentle kindness of the show and inviting it into our lives each night.
I remember so well watching “Touched By An Angel” and “Highway To Heaven” with my mom and dad. They loved the storyline with angels walking among us, helping and interacting, directing our paths when needed. My mom thoroughly enjoyed the shows for years. We would talk about the episode and then how it related to the bible and real life. Sure, a lot of it was fiction, but it was a good clean show with a heart and you don’t see many of those anymore.
So tonight, just for a moment, I was touched by another angel. I felt the presence of my mom come and sit down on the couch beside me and share in a memory. It was just a moment, but I am thankful for it just the same. It made me smile and I love memories that do that.
Take a moment today to remember some of the good memories you’ve shared. It’s good to appreciate where we come from, it’s better to then live in the moment and enjoy the things we have and the people in our lives. Life a gift, don’t take it for granted, enjoy every bit of it.
Cherry Coley (c)
Related articles
- Touched by an Angel (andykalan.wordpress.com)
Grief as a Teacher
photo by Casey Keal
Grief can play with your mind and your perception of the way events happened. The tricks of the mind can lead to feelings of regret and guilt, hurt and betrayal, and leave you with a feeling of loss that can drive you to your knees at times.
All week the residual feelings of the grief felt earlier this week have been with me. I finally got to the point I was asking “what is it I’m supposed to see or learn here?” “What am I missing, and why am I feeling this way?”
By asking these type of questions the feeling of distress is lifted a bit so that I can see what I need see instead of lingering on thoughts of how I wish things had been. My girls are teenagers and the oldest is getting ready to move on with her life. She is trying to find her way, changing her mind, debating what she wants, and taking her first steps forward.
Through the other milestones with my kids, my mom has been here. She was my voice of encouragement, my voice of reason, the person that would laugh at my worrying and say, “karma works.”
I think of all the times I was out too late at night, talking on the phone and tying up the line (before the age of personal cell phones), trying to find my way and changing my mind, and often driving my mom crazy with my ideas and dreams.
There are days when I feel lost without mom, yet I know her words, her wisdom and her love live on in me. I will not forget, Mom, I will remember and we will go forward.
Cherry Coley (c)
Related articles
- Stages of grief and special needs parenting: Is acceptance all there is? (durgastoolbox.com)
- Top 15 Tips to help you through the beginning stages of grieving the loss of a loved one. (lifebalancehealthcoach.wordpress.com)
Give A Little Love
Give a little love, do something nice and spread some cheer every chance you get.
Like ripples on the water everything thing we do creates an effect on our environment and the people around us. Yesterday I was feeling rather blue and had several friends that were kind by calling to say they were thinking about me, or texting me to cheer me up. One of them helped me to see things in a different light as he often does.
It’s important to surround yourself with people who are interested in learning about you and who you are. People that share some of the same interests, have opposing opinions and aren’t afraid to share them, and people who are just fun to be around. We all really need a variety of friends to spend time with and keep us on our toes, to offer our support and encouragement, and to share with and learn from.
I have a couple of Eeyore type personality friends that have a sarcastic sense of humor and a realist outlook that borders on gloom, but they are good-natured and I love hearing from them.
I am thankful for the people in my life. We are all here to work together and help each other along the way. Each of us have our unique gifts and talents that make us who we are. It’s such a thrill to meet someone new and have the time to get to know them.
Cherry Coley (c)
Related articles
- How to create a ripple effect in your and others’ lives (psychologytoday.com)
- More Ripple Please (bikecolleenbrown.wordpress.com)
- Cheer up! It’s Contagious (faithrises.com)
I Want My Mommy!
Today I miss my mom. It’s not that I don’t miss her every day, but today the gaping hole in my chest where my parents used to be was hurting more.
I had been doing so much better, I was moving forward, getting things done and looking forward to the future and SLAM, grief strikes again. I hate that.
Grief has a way of popping up at times and turning the world upside down when you least expect it. It’s just the way it works unfortunately. The name of this round of grief is called – “things I wish I’d done differently.” The worst part of this round was not thinking of the things I would have done differently with my parents, (I went thru that part last year).
This was about things I wish I’d done differently in other areas of my life, with my ex-husband, my kids, my school days, and all the time I wasted doing stuff that didn’t really matter or turn out the way I wanted in the end.
My kids are growing up so fast and I still have questions, but no more answers. There are things that they bring up and do that I don’t know how to approach, so I make suggestions and do research. I feel inadequate at times, though I know it’s not true.
If my mom were here she would listen to my worries and insecurities and tell me to “suck it up,” and “karma works,” then smile and even laugh at me because I put her through many of the same issues and how well I remember that.
The things we thought were so fun as kids – like staying out too late, and talking on the phone all night, are not so funny as a parent. Life is a circle, that’s for sure.
I am thankful for the time I had with my mom and my dad. I’m thankful they always had my best interests at heart, even though they didn’t always understand me.
I am thankful I have two daughters, that remind me that life goes on and sometimes you have to look back to appreciate where you came from before you can go forward.
Cherry Coley (c)
Related articles
- Monday Musings: Grief (loveboldly.net)
Spilled Cookies – New Look Coming Soon!
Time changes everything. I have been on a soul-searching path for several years now, last year was a time of grief and rebuilding and that is an ongoing process. Rewriting your life and changing direction takes time, courage, lots of study, self-evaluation and learning to humble oneself to be open to change itself.
I will be working to change SpilledCookies to go in a new direction as my life is changing as well. This blog has been a great way to gain insight and self-confidence, to share points of view, to trade ideas and I have enjoyed writing here.
I am not saying goodbye, but instead saying there are better days ahead! While I have shared some personal stories here, a lot of my posts are my point of view about different subjects, the new site will hold more of each, plus a new adventure/outreach I will be starting soon. I hope you will enjoy the new SpilledCookies even more.
Cherry Coley (c)
My philosophy for Spilled Cookies still holds true:
Doctor Doctor!
Today I am thankful for doctors. I spent a lot of time in hospitals with my mom over the years. She was a 3 time cancer survivor and had other health problems that came about due to the lingering effects of the chemotherapy she had to endure.
I am thankful for the care and kindness of the nurses that would come in and check on us, and the doctor taking the time to explain the parts of the treatment that we didn’t understand. I am also thankful for the Chaplains who would take the time to come by and visit with mom when we couldn’t be there.
In some of the hospitals the rooms were made where you could stay overnight if you wanted which was really nice. I am thankful that both my parents had good attitudes while they were in the hospital which also helps.
I had to have cesarean sections with both of my daughters. I am thankful for the skill and care of the nurses and doctors that made sure that we were all healthy and well cared for.
I don’t really like to be in hospitals because they bring back so many memories, but I am thankful that we have hospitals and that they are available when we need them. I am thankful for all the men and women who work tirelessly, under paid and many time underappreciated to give us that good care that is needed.
I do not have the stomach or the temperament to be a doctor or a nurse, but I am thankful there are people that do. When was the last time you stopped to think about your doctor and nurse as people, with homes and loved ones of their own? I know there have been times when I called after hours and my doctor took the time to call me back to answer my questions. That was time taken away from his family. Take a moment today to send your doctor a thank you note, or a card of encouragement, you will make their day and remind them that what they do really does make a difference.
Cherry Coley (c)
