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The Biggest Mistake

l_5877c808254742e986ad6762af59ea91I look back on my life and realize I’ve made some major mistakes along the way.  We try to avoid mistakes when we can.  No one likes making mistakes, whether they are big or small one’s mistakes have consequences and no one likes the fall out.

The way we respond to our mistakes says a lot about our character and how we approach our lives.  Successful people learn that making mistakes is not a bad thing.  Mistakes can teach us what to do and what not to do.

Mistakes are choices we’ve made that haven’t worked out the way we thought they would.  However, the benefit of making mistakes is knowing we are taking an active part in life, we are trying, we are making choices and even though some may wind up being mistakes, if we learn from them then there is still a benefit.

Benjamin Franklin said, “The man who does things makes many mistakes, but he never makes the biggest mistake of all – doing nothing.”

I thought about that statement today, the biggest mistake being to do nothing.  How true a statement is that? There have been times in my life when I was afraid to move forward, to take a chance for fear of making a mistake.  There have been opportunities that I missed because I took too long to think things through and choose to move forward. 

To live, to really live, is to make the choice to participate, to meet new people, try new things, experience life.  To experience life means to make mistakes.  It’s okay, there may be consequences, but you can learn from the experience.  Just don’t make the biggest mistake by choosing to do nothing, the consequences for that one is called “regret” and regret is a hard thing to live with.

Cherry Coley (c)

Give A Little Love

100_5605Give a little love, do something nice and spread some cheer every chance you get. 

Like ripples on the water everything thing we do creates an effect on our environment and the people around us.  Yesterday I was feeling rather blue and had several friends that were kind by calling to say they were thinking about me, or texting me to cheer me up.  One of them helped me to see things in a different light as he often does.

It’s important to surround yourself with people who are interested in learning about you and who you are.  People that share some of the same interests, have opposing opinions and aren’t afraid to share them, and people who are just fun to be around.  We all really need a variety of friends to spend time with and keep us on our toes, to offer our support and encouragement, and to share with and learn from.

I have a couple of Eeyore type personality friends that have a sarcastic sense of humor and a realist outlook that borders on gloom, but they are good-natured and I love hearing from them. 

I am thankful for the people in my life.  We are all here to work together and help each other along the way.  Each of us have our unique gifts and talents that make us who we are.  It’s such a thrill to meet someone new and have the time to get to know them.

Cherry Coley (c)

Tipping the Scales and Maintaining Balance

balanceI used to think that multitasking was one of my strongest talents.  I juggle a lot of things at the same time.  Yet, this past year I kept finding myself having to slow down and focus on just one thing and at times it felt inhibiting, frustrating even.

 The problem with constantly multitasking is that you never truly master the “one” thing if your time and focus is on a lot of other things at the same time.  There are times when single-mindedness is a true blessing and there are some people who have the gift of focusing so intently that they stay with the “one” thing until they understand it through and through before moving on to the next thing.

 Those same people with such extraordinary focus sometimes complain about not being able to multitask.  To me that is the balance the universe threw in just for fun and another case where we are shown that we need each other to make things run smoothly.

 Balance is something that is sought by most people.  There are tons of books written about how to gain balance in work and home life.  There will be just as many more written in the future as we all try the different solutions to find the one that best works for us.

 For those people who are able to attain balance, they must stay aware and keep on top of their circumstances and events in their lives to keep the balance.  We all struggle at some point.

 The answer lies within the person seeking balance.

 For me, I have many projects and interests that I weed down to a few.  From that point I take those that are related to each other and group them together.  If they can be done around the same time then all is well, if not then each project will be allotted its own time and energy individually.  Some projects will be put aside until other projects are finished.  It’s important to prioritize.

 Balance is vital to keep up a healthy, mental, emotional, social, and physical life. 

 I read a quote the other day in the book – “The Success System that Never Fails” – by James Allen.  The quote said, “Eventually you will be controlled by your circumstances, so it’s important to control your circumstances now.”  I’ve thought about that quote a lot since then, I can’t think of a better call to action, to get up, take responsibility for your health, your surroundings and your life right now than that.

 Cherry Coley ©

Pity Party Extravaganza!

pityI threw myself a pity party the other day.  I tried to invite some friends, but they weren’t really buying into it.  I had the sad music on, whined and sulked and sat in the dark.  What the heck I was doing? 

 So what is the purpose of a pity party?  For the life of me I don’t know.  It seems to be an excuse to let negative emotions and imagination run wild, making us resent, regret, cry over, and even get angry about things that were not done right or areas we were wronged in our lives.

 Pity parties are not enjoyable; after all being in the throes of negative emotions is not a fun thing to experience.  Yet some choose to have long and lingering pity parties that can go on for years and become addictive / habit forming behavior.

 I believe the real purpose of a pity party and that sinking feeling you get when you know you are headed in that direction, is that they are a wakeup call.  A reminder that problems and hurt feelings do not just go away, we will eventually deal with them, or have them pop up from time to time as unresolved issues that wreak havoc on our emotions and on the lives of the people around us. 

 When people enter into the “pity party zone” or their stress levels go up from being afraid, angry, anxious, insulted, or tired; they tend to engage in cognitive tunneling.  This means that they start focusing on the threat or unresolved issue and wind up ignoring a lot of other things going on around them. 

 Focusing on our emotional turmoil, past hurts, and unresolved issues, or perceived threats, is what causes us to miss many of the good things that might be right in front of us.  People in that state have trouble hearing / listening, understanding and remembering.

I think it may be human nature to have a pity party every once in a while, but we should remember that it really is just a reminder that there are things that we need to stop, take a good look at, perhaps get an outside opinion on, and come to terms with so that we can move forward and heal.  So go ahead and visit the party if you must, but don’t stay too long, don’t make it a way of life and don’t lose yourself in the party.  Life is so much more than that!  Leave that party and open the door to possibilities instead!

 Cherry Coley ©

To Write or Not To Write?

I have spent part of tonight writing letters.  Yes, letters – those things we used to write a lot of long ago, put a stamp on and send off in the mail.  Why?  Well call me a bit old-fashioned, worn out or whatever, but I enjoy receiving something other than bills and junk mail.  I LIKE writing letters; they are just a bit more personal, they take a little more effort than an instant message, a text message, an email or posting on Facebook.  Yes, it takes longer to get there, but it’s still nice! 

I even miss the letters written in handwriting.  I still have cards my grandma sent me when I was a child and we wrote to each other.  I confess I don’t usually write in handwriting, for a few reasons, but mostly because hand writing any length of time makes my wrist hurt.  So I will normally type the letter and then sign it – unless it is a card, then I will write on the card. 

Think about how much have we lost in letting that personal, physical touch fall by the wayside.   Even the kids now days resort to text messages – I bet some of them have NEVER written a note in class!!  Sacrilege!  (I apologize to all the teachers out there.) 

What about all the handwriting analysis people and theories?  If you don’t handwrite much and the person is somewhat out of practice, or has trouble writing by hand – does the analysis still hold true?

So, I am going to start writing more letters this year, just because I want too.   I miss getting cards in the mail, but confess that I haven’t sent any in a while, so what better way to start than to get re-acquainted with the notion of sending a smile by post office?  Strange notion, huh?  How funny to pause and think that some people will actually say, “that’s silly,” or “it will never catch on.”  Maybe not, but I will try anyway.  

 Cherry Coley ©

The Sunshine Award :)

 

I have been nominated by http://makesomethingmondays.wordpress.com  for the Sunshine Award. Awww! Thank you! I love her blog, it has a little bit of all kinds of things and she encourages me and makes me smile!! 

The award has some guidelines to be followed.

1. Include the logo in a post on your blog.

2. Answer 10 questions about yourself.

3. Nominate 10-12 marvelous bloggers.

4. Let your nominees knows about their award by linking them to the Sunshine Award in their comments sections.

5. Share the love and link the person who nominated you!

10 questions for the Sunshine Award

  1. Favorite Color: Black. I love black, it goes with everything!!
  2. Favorite Animal: I have a special love for wolves.  I used to have a couple of malamutes and would love to get another one.
  3. Favorite Number: 25
  4. Favorite Drink: raspberry lemonade – just because I want to be different.
  5. Facebook or Twitter: Facebook, though I don’t like the new format.  Twitter is okay and I’m beginning to like it better.
  6. Your Passion: Art and writing of any kind
  7. Favorite Pattern: I don’t know….something that flows and is interesting. lol
  8. Giving or Receiving Gifts: Giving for sure!! I love to make gifts or find something I know someone will love then watch their face light up when they open it.
  9. Favorite Day: Saturdays
  10. Favorite Flower: I love flowers, in a garden and out in the sunshine.  I like the one’s you can stick in the ground, wish them luck then watch them come back again the next season.  ha.  Other than that I guess if I get real flowers I like carnations and roses for their fragrance and colors.

The following talented bloggers have given me non-stop encouragement and sunshine and I enjoy reading and checking out their pages:

http://subhanzein.wordpress.com/

http://bcommanderinchic.com/

http://noruffdays.com/

http://memyselfandela.wordpress.com/

http://freedomtoafulllife.wordpress.com/

http://fivereflections.wordpress.com/

http://smsdesire.wordpress.com/

http://kittybloger.wordpress.com/

http://paularenee.wordpress.com/

http://ahardyperspective.wordpress.com/

http://faithrises.com/

Take a moment to say hello and share a smile with these talented people.  :)