Dream

Set Your Targets Closer and Set Your Sights High!

cherrys iphone 247Have you ever set your heart on a career or goal and then lost your focus?  Distractions and life events you didn’t have control over cropped up as obstacles and you had to put off what you were working on, or maybe you just put it aside hoping someday you might get back to your dream.  I have.  I remember dreaming of doing things, working hard to set goals and lists, then becoming discouraged because there were too many other things I was responsible for at the time and it seemed my dreams would always get shoved aside.

Here are some things you can do to stay motivated and keep making progress towards your dreams.

  • *        Focus on the outcome instead of the activities.

It’s easy to fill up a “to do” list with a lot of activities that seem necessary and valuable when we write them down, but are they?  If you aren’t careful what seemed like a good idea and vitally important can get confused with “busy work” and before you know it you’ll find yourself with a big to do list that you aren’t getting done, a feeling of despair because you aren’t making the progress you thought you would, and sometimes thoughts of giving up because you become discouraged, or feel overwhelmed with the distractions and events.

When you focus on the outcome instead of the activities – put up reminders of where you want to be.  Don’t do a big to do list, instead just focus on what you want for an outcome.  You will surprise yourself finding ways to fit in the things that must be done to get you to your goal.  What’s more is you may come to realize things you thought were important are just busy work and aren’t necessary to get you where you want to go.

Resources you didn’t see before will come into focus because you aren’t worried about the “to do list” – you’re looking for your end result.  When you keep your focus on the outcome it sets your brain and eyes in motion to look for opportunities that you might’ve otherwise missed.

  •     Set your targets closer

Another way to stay motivated is to set your targets closer.  When you want to gain self-confidence it helps to set some easily obtainable goals, once you reach your target – celebrate!!  Every success counts!  Get used to that feeling of celebration when you reach your goal, stop and enjoy it!  Build on your successes and keep the momentum going!  You can do it!

It seems silly to remind to celebrate, but how many times do you reach a goal and think, “okay, that’s done, now what?” and just move on to the next thing?  I was doing this a lot.  Where is the enjoyment? Where’s the lasting sense of accomplishment?  Well, gee, I just bypassed it and went on to the next thing.  It’s important to celebrate the little successes, it will make the big successes that much more sweet! Life is a joy to live and we need to celebrate when we reach a milestone or goal.

  •     Surround yourself with people who will hold you accountable and encourage you.

Notice I didn’t say – surround yourself with people who will beat you up and try to whip you into getting things done.  This may work for some, and I confess now and then I kick myself into gear, but put me with someone who’s going to belittle or make me feel bad for not reaching a goal on time and it has the opposite effect on me.  Eventually I may even start avoiding that person.  Who wants to talk to someone whose intent on judging you?  I’d rather find someone who will listen to my concerns and offer some encouragement and helpful suggestions.

Just keep that ant philosophy.  Ants don’t get distracted or let obstacles get in their way.  They just keep on going, up, down, around, under and through whatever gets in their way to reach their goal.  When they need help they send for reinforcements and get the job done.

Cherry Coley ©

Failure is Not Permanent

“The only time failure becomes permanent is if you decide you aren’t going to try anymore.” – Cherry Coley

Today I am thankful that failure is not permanent and that we, as humans, can choose to improve ourselves, our lives, our outlook on a daily basis.  What an amazing thing to be able to change direction or correct our error when we find we’ve made a mistake. 

I am thankful to have the ability to learn to plan ahead, to not let myself be cornered and to recognize that in every situation, no matter how stressful, there are always choices to be made.  Being human means we can learn better ways to approach lifes challenges.

We do ourselves and the people around us a great service by taking care to look at  situations as they arise, center our focus on the goal, and take the steps necessary to get there.  The circumstances, events, and obstacles have little impact as long as we keep our eyes on the goal we wish to reach.

Today be thankful for the ability to set goals, remain focused, realize that failure just means we are still trying, and the determination to see things through to completion.

Cherry Coley (c)

That’s History In The Making!

What you do today matters.

The things you think,

The things you say,

The things you do all matter.

 We have all heard the saying, “it’s history in the making!” Usually those are words describing some important event that is deemed to be memorable for years or decades to come.  The truth is we are all history in the making. 

 From the moment you were born you began on the journey of your life.  Each day you have grown and learned new things along the way.  Each day you make decisions and choices that will take you further towards your goals and dreams, or keep you where you are.

 As humans we have the ability to keep learning, keep stretching and testing our limits, and to change directions at will.  Stop and think what you do today will affect where you are tomorrow.  You truly are history in the making!

 Cherry Coley ©

No Failure!

“There is no failure except in no longer trying.  There is no defeat except from within, no really insurmountable barrier save our own inherent weakness of purpose.” – Elbert Hubbard

Take Action

“What you are is what you believe, not what you were genetically created to be.  You have the ability to dream, to believe, to take action, and follow your dreams.  The only limits are the beliefs and excuses you create along the way.” – Cherry Coley

Life is about Choices

Life is about choices.  Oh, I know we’ve all heard that before and we all know it’s true; the question is how true is it?

I have had to battle the demons from my past the last few days.  Those memories that haunt and an attitude that wants to settle around me like a dark cloud and seep into my skin to become a part of me again. 

A close friend of mine told me that I should stop writing positive drivel and write about a lot of the crap that I’ve experienced along the way.  I told him that no one would believe all the stuff I’ve been through, not that it didn’t happen, but that there is so much of it.  Truly, most people experience one or two major mishaps in life if they are unlucky enough, but I’ve had so many that even I sit and shake my head in wonder at why I am still here at times.

He also told me that I have a great talent for description and that if I have something to say then just say it.  Well, okay, but I will do it my way, not yours. 

For the last few days and especially last night, the darkness tried really hard to reassert its self and last night I went to bed feeling like I was losing the battle, that I had failed and should just write everything that happened, reliving it all in vivid detail as I did.  I had nightmares all night.

The thing is, while I was experiencing living with an abusive, narcissistic, sociopath and that was after being in a rather odd relationship with another one previously, I had become a ghost like reflection of who I once was.  In those years I was just a shell of a person functioning on the outside, putting up a good front so that things would seem normal to those who looked on. 

I still had a positive attitude even then, though I struggled with it and it was only surface deep.  I still believed in better days and that the sun would shine.  

In talking to my friend something defensive in me woke up.  It wasn’t a whimpering, sad shadow either.  He kept asking me how I could be so positive after so much.  My unwavering answer is because NO ONE CONTROLS ME!  No one controls my attitude and my outlook except ME! 

Whatever the world and life throws your way, you CAN come out stronger, better, but it’s a choice.  You have the power to CHOOSE how you apply the events and mishaps in your life.  You can learn from them and become stronger, or you can let them take you down, dwelling on them, feeling anger, revenge, helplessness, and relive them over and over.  I choose to learn, to get up and to keep going.  I choose to believe there’s more that life has to teach and offer.

I don’t just think the sun will shine again and that better days will eventually be here….I KNOW. 

For me, it’s no longer faith as much as it’s experience.  When you’re up against that cliff and there’s nothing to do but to step off the ledge, you can be sure that God is going to catch you, or teach you to fly.  The thing is that in order to go forward, you do have to move, faith is grown by action, not waiting and life is about choices.

Cherry Coley (c)

Feeling Fear and Going Forward

Funny thing, fear, it can freeze you where you are at times, but there will always be fear and challenges in life.  Fear can be felt in so many different ways and sometimes it is so disguised that we don’t really realize that is what it is until we take the time to really look at it.

Lately I have found myself feeling somewhat disconnected, and at yet another crossroads in my life.  It seems to happen to me a lot recently.  Yet another little known fact about me is that I have always loved dream interpretation.  It’s something I have spent a lifetime studying and learning. 

So when I began to have dreams of walking through forests I started paying attention as that usually indicates a search for meaning and a transition for me.  Then when I started dreaming of looking out over a canyon at sunset I stopped and contemplated where I am.  A canyon indicates deeper relationships while sunset means an ending of a cycle in life.

It all fits with many of the other things that I have been struggling with along the way.  I have decided my next course of action and am now finally able to stand up at the cross roads and get ready to walk the path I have chosen.   It’s interesting how taking just a little time out to meditate and pray can calm the spirit and guide.

Fear and uncertainty stopped me, but it has no place in my life other than to briefly make me pause to check my intentions, and direction.  Other than that, I will push through and realize that with every experience and trial in this life there is given, at the appropriate time, grace, courage and strength to see us through. 

Knowing that there is nothing to fear in what tomorrow brings, because tomorrow, the sun will shine again.  The breeze will blow and greet the leaves, the birds will lift their voices to the heavens, and life will go on.  

Cherry Coley ©