Just Me

Happiness

“Some people pursue happiness…others create it.” – Anonymous

Now and then in the midst of the daily struggle and grind, stop and remind yourself that you are – at this moment experiencing a miracle.  Each breath that you take is a life giving miracle.  Can you feel the heart beating in your chest? Another miracle.  No doctor or scientist can explain life – they can look at it, study it, pursue answers and seek to protect and prolong it, but they can’t explain it. 

Now that you have experienced the miracle of being alive, think about the miracles that allow you to learn, to read, to have emotions, to experience life.  Amazing what we take for granted most of the time. 

Joy, laughter, happiness are around you – created for you to experience.  The birds singing, the whispering leaves in the trees, the soft touch of the wind in your hair, the warmth of the sun on your face, all wonderous things in this life for you to enjoy.

Wouldn’t it be great if humans acted with the joy and abandon of a dog being let outside to play? They run full out, leaping and rolling, barking and howling into the wind, giving it their all in a moment of pure joy! Can you imagine a place where people could play like that?

When was the last time you just went outside, closed your eyes and listened to everything you could hear for awhile?  Amazing when our mind is relaxed, eyes are closed how much we can hear. 

Or the last time you ate a plate of fruit in low light – so you can better savor the flavors of each one and allow yourself to only concentrate on the taste?

Take a moment to try something different, remind yourself of the little things that can bring joy each day.  Life is too short to rush through in pursuit of happiness, find your bliss in the little things, then share a smile with a friend.

Cherry Coley (c)

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Keep On Running

 

“Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.” – Walter Elliott

In a day and age where we choose to rush around getting so many things done every day, it’s good to stop and remember that perseverance means that you keep on going, despite hardship, despite distractions and obstacles, we keep moving forward one step at a time.

Some days, like today, it is a great help to remember that all it takes is that one step right after the other. 

-Cherry Coley (c)

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A New Day!

I was feeling a bit down today.  The weather was a bit gloomy, hazy, wet outside, and it was just one of those days.  At least that’s what I told myself this morning.  Then I wondered why.

 Why was I just accepting that I was having a “blue” day?  Was it disappointment over something? Did I not like how someone was treating me? Was it the weather? Am I not happy about where I am or things that are going on in my life right now? What?

 Does any of that matter? The answer is no, if you are living life from a proactive perspective instead of a reactive perspective none of the above makes any difference at all. 

 Being in a proactive mindset means that I CHOOSE how I feel in the morning.  I get to choose my attitude, perspective and my approach to everything that comes into my life each day.  That’s an enormous amount of personal power if you think about it.  Does it mean if I have a car wreck in the morning I won’t react and be upset?  Not necessarily, but it is still my choice to BE upset.

 Freedom comes in knowing that you can choose how you feel about any given circumstance, event, or situation at any given time.  So think about this, if you feel unappreciated, you feel jealousy, you feel taken for granted, or you feel unloved, why not take a moment – stop and ask yourself: are these feelings and is this behavior contributing to my health and happiness? What am I getting from feeling this way? It definitely doesn’t make you feel good.  So why choose to feel that way?

 Today make the choice to take a good look at how you are responding to things in your life.  Are you being proactive and choosing how you will feel and your attitude? Are you looking for the opportunities in any given situation? Or are you living in response to things that are going on?

 When we live in response we are living with our feelings hanging out there in the open.  Emotions unchecked can cloud judgment. Clouded judgment will keep you from seeing the opportunities and choices available to you.  How many times have you felt unappreciated or unloved, had things spiral into arguments or upset, only to find out later it was a misunderstanding?

 If you’re feeling down, like I was, stop to take a moment to appreciate your blessing and the good things in your life.  When you get in the attitude of being grateful it gets harder to feel down and stay that way.  Thank God for another day, I did, then I felt much better.

Cherry Coley (c)

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January Ends

It’s hard to believe we are at the end of the month already.  One month down and eleven more to go, right?  Well, it would be that way if you concentrate on your calendar a lot.

I use a calendar to be organized, to keep track of important dates, and to remind me what day it is.  However, I am more concerned with living in the moment than staring at a clock or a calendar. 

One of the things that losing family and friends has taught me is that time is short, so you shouldn’t take any of it for granted.  It makes me pause to think about the time I spend watching movies and television.  Some of the shows are educational, but for the most part it’s all just entertainment.  Do we really need to be entertained so much?  What other ways could we be spending our time?

I watch movies now and then, but I prefer to write or read.  I learn so much more reading books than I learn from watching television, although I do love the history channel and Ghost Adventures.  I am a seeker of knowledge.  There is something within me that is perpetually hungry for knowledge all the time.  Once one appetite is satisfied, I move on to another book about another subject.  I love reading.

I also love blogs.  What a great place to get to read the posts of friends and new acquaintances.  It’s fun to see what other people are up to and all the creative ideas going around out there. 

Take a moment today to be thankful for the ability to read and write, just think how small our world would be if we didn’t have all the knowledge we have so readily available now.  Even the movies and television we love to watch exists because someone wrote a script or told a story.  I’m truly thankful for my parents and teachers who taught me to read and write, and that learning is never a waste of time.

Cherry Coley (c)

Spilled Cookies – New Look Coming Soon!

Time changes everything.  I have been on a soul-searching path for several years now, last year was a time of grief and rebuilding and that is an ongoing process.  Rewriting your life and changing direction takes time, courage, lots of study, self-evaluation and learning to humble oneself to be open to change itself.

I will be working to change SpilledCookies to go in a new direction as my life is changing as well.  This blog has been a great way to gain insight and self-confidence, to share points of view, to trade ideas and I have enjoyed writing here. 

I am not saying goodbye, but instead saying there are better days ahead!  While I have shared some personal stories here, a lot of my posts are my point of view about different subjects, the new site will hold more of each, plus a new adventure/outreach I will be starting soon.  I hope you will enjoy the new SpilledCookies even more.

Cherry Coley (c)

My philosophy for Spilled Cookies still holds true:

Facing Fears

Dark forest

I faced another fear today.  You see, I used to have a major fear of getting up in front of people.  When I was growing up I was forced to sing solo many times in church.  I hated that.  I have the kind of singing voice that goes well with a duet or choir, but solo’s are not my thing.

I was also in drama growing up which didn’t go that well either.  I had some mishaps on stage and most of the time I couldn’t make myself speak loud enough to be heard.  Yet, after I had my kids something changed.  Suddenly I was “mom” and mom’s can’t cower in corners from monsters under the bed, or spiders on the wall, they have to face fears and protect their children.

When my kids were still little I did a Christmas play, I only had a small speaking part, and just as I was about to get that familiar stage fright, I remembered that I had to speak to classrooms of kids regularly, referee, and protect my kids from bullies so why should I be afraid of saying a few words in front of people?

Still, today was a big step for me.  I have felt like I should tell my story to others.  After all when you’ve been through so much in life, you should share your experiences, maybe it will help someone else.  I have gained some confidence in sharing things on blogs and social media, but that’s not the same as truly putting yourself in front of other people.

Today I shared part of my life’s journey in church.  I feel like I did ramble a bit, but over all it went pretty well.  When I stepped up I felt the old familiar fear, and all week I almost talked myself out of it, but there was a part of me that refused. I need to face my fears, they are self-made obstacles that have held me back for far too long.

A funny happens when you face fears, they dissipate just like that, they are gone.  I was nervous going up to the podium, then suddenly I wasn’t afraid anymore.  One fear down, many more to go.  One big step forward to what might be a very interesting future.

Take time this year to look at the things that have held you back in your life.  Are they real fears or are they self-made obstacles?  Take a chance and find out, false fears can’t hold their ground when you stand up to them.  Realize that the only limits you have are the one’s you’re placing on yourself.  Choose to make this year count!

Cherry Coley (c)

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Let’s Do This!

Those who really want to accomplish something will find a way; those who are not committed will find an excuse.

When you make excuses about why things didn’t get done, or create obstacles to use as an excuse to give up on that project, diet, or exercise routine the only person you are really hurting is yourself, right?  Wrong.  Like it or not we are all part of a community of sorts.  We each have friends, co-workers, and family members in our lives that pay attention to our choices and decisions.  What you do and don’t do, affects the people around you.

 Someone who make excuses about meeting deadlines, or personal goals rarely exceeds anywhere else.  I know for me I have to be careful because the excuses try to slip in there unnoticed when I least expect it.  “I can’t go jogging tonight, it got dark outside too quick,” or “I wound up running errands for other people the last few days and it threw me off my whole routine.”

 Life happens, accidents, incidents, whatever might come up can either be worked in, worked around, or incorporated into daily routines if you are really committed to a positive goal.

 Let’s make 2013 a year when we reach our goals.  Let’s make it a year of encouragement for the people around us, the year to do random acts of kindness and start something good. 

 I am determined to do some charity walks this year so I have started training to be able to reach those goals.  It’s something I used to do quite often, but it’s been awhile.  I look forward to doing my part, to giving back, to raising money for good causes and most of all, I look forward to crossing the finish line and knowing I stuck in there and made it! 

 2013 is going to be a great year!  Let’s do this!

 Cherry Coley ©

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The End or The Beginning?

Well, tomorrow is the end of the Mayan calendar.  A 400 year cycle is over and a new one is about to begin.  A new cycle, a new year, something that we are fortunate enough to experience in our lifetime. 

So how about this? Instead of worrying about the world ending tomorrow, let’s make this a time of reflection, meditation and coming to terms with where we are in this life, how we got where we are, and where we want to go from here.

There are only 11 days left in 2012.  Now is a good time to list out New Years resolutions.  I personally prefer to call them New Years Commitments because then it sounds like a contract, a binding agreement.  I don’t want to “promise” I will do this or that, I want to list out my goals and commit to seeing them through.

As for the new cycle or the turning of the Mayan calendar, let us start a new era, one of paying it forward.  Start tomorrow, do something kind for someone you see during the day.  Appreciate the people around you, pick up trash if you see it, open a door if needed, help if you can.  If we all truly seek to be the change we want to see in the world, then the world will indeed change.

Cherry Coley (c)

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Start Something Right Now!

The news of the Connecticut shootings made me angry, then heartbroken.  I cannot begin to imagine the pain the families of the victims are feeling, or the pain of the children that survived and have to deal with great loss so early in their lives. 

 I don’t believe we should ever mention the criminals in these types of crimes.  They should remain nameless – “Devil Walking” – that’s how they should be referred to.  Never should they be reported by name, never should they be remembered.  Take away the fame and the pictures, the stories of their lives.  They are a Devil Walking doing unspeakable harm, and that’s all anyone needs to know. 

If they are brave enough to live through their crime spree then they should forever be stripped of their identity, they should have their names taken away and be made to spend the rest of their lives sending financial support to the families of the victims.  With a consequence like that they might think before committing such crimes.  Where are their rights? They gave them up when they took the lives of others. 

 Yet, the mass shooting Devils perform the ultimate cowardly act of committing suicide and going down in history.  Stop it!  They don’t need to be remembered.  The innocent lives they took – THOSE people are worth remembering, they were stripped of their lives, their hopes, their dreams, all taken in an instant. 

 On the flip side of this I can only say that mental instability is a growing problem.  The answer  - don’t just pray.  Prayer is good, but prayer is NOT ENOUGH!  Get involved, be aware of the people in your life.  Take time to get to know them individually.  Take time to find out what they are going through and if they need help, offer it if you can, or offer them a place to genuinely find help, above all – CARE. 

 There are at this very moment people all around each and every one of us that are hurting.  The economy is bad, there are people going through job loss, financial worries, sickness and dealing with losing family members and friends.  How many people do you ask how they are doing each day, and actually stay around to hear the answer?  Do you just want to see them smile and say “fine” So you can go on your way?  Would you like someone to ask you how you’re doing and know that they care what you say next?

 It’s interesting how in an age when we are all so “connected” with social media sites and texting, we are disconnected for the actual events in each other’s lives.  Those people that share their problems in the social media world can be shoved to the hidden lists or skipped over if they complain too much, or if things never seem to get better for them, God forbid the issues last too long.  It’s easy to stop answering the texts or stop checking on someone if they are continuously having a hard time, don’t move on, or things don’t improve after a while.  We are not a society that breeds patience. 

 Seeking help for working through problems, divorce, grief, job loss, abuse, health problems, from a therapist needs to stop being a stigma.  If you need the help, get it.  Stop worrying about what the masses think or say, it doesn’t matter what the social world thinks, what matters is that you are healthy and living the best life possible.

 What’s that saying? It takes a village to raise a child?  How about we rewrite that to read – it takes a community of caring individuals working together to create and maintain a healthy environment to live in.  Let’s start today, reach out to the people in your life and get to know them, you will be glad you did and so will they.

 Cherry Coley ©

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I Don’t Feel So Merry

It’s Christmas time.  Yesterday we had snow, just a light dusting, and it was beautiful.  There is a chill in the wind today, it makes me want to stay home by the fire and drink hot cocoa. 

I have been looking at Christmas decorations, but they don’t seem quiet as sparkly as they used too.  I have been avoiding Christmas music for the most part.  I simply cannot listen to much of the Christmas music yet.

I am trying, but the truth is I just don’t feel the Christmas spirit much this year.  I try to remember last year, but all I can think of is that my days with my mom were running out and I didn’t know it.  Instead she and I stayed up late talking on Dec. 11th.  We were talking about  how everything was going to be different without dad, and we should try to make new Christmas  traditions. 

We had a long conversation that night about past Christmas’, about new plans, about the Bible and our beliefs, about my kids and our family.  Mom and I talked late into the night enjoying each others company.  I missed her,  I had not seen her in a week or two since Casey was working and using my car more.

Now, the song that best describes how I feel is “Where Are You Christmas?“  The answer is, I am not sure.  I think Christmas is the same, the spirit is the same, it is me that has changed.  I am still healing, still searching for answers that don’t exist and longing for conversations I will not get to finish until I see my mom and dad again someday.

This Christmas is a little better than last year, but it still hurts, aches.  Yet I know that time, faith, and hope will eventually heal the hurts, though they won’t fill the gaping hole left in my heart where my parents once lived.  I miss them. 

If you’re parents are still here, take the time to go see them.  If they need you, listen, and be there for them as they were for you.  If you have family you haven’t talked to in awhile, here’s your chance, your excuse, break the ice, heal the rift and share the love while you still can.  Christmas is about love and that is the greatest gift of all, don’t miss out on this free and wonderful gift.

Cherry Coley (c)

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