Month: January 2013

January Ends

tabletIt’s hard to believe we are at the end of the month already.  One month down and eleven more to go, right?  Well, it would be that way if you concentrate on your calendar a lot.

I use a calendar to be organized, to keep track of important dates, and to remind me what day it is.  However, I am more concerned with living in the moment than staring at a clock or a calendar. 

One of the things that losing family and friends has taught me is that time is short, so you shouldn’t take any of it for granted.  It makes me pause to think about the time I spend watching movies and television.  Some of the shows are educational, but for the most part it’s all just entertainment.  Do we really need to be entertained so much?  What other ways could we be spending our time?

I watch movies now and then, but I prefer to write or read.  I learn so much more reading books than I learn from watching television, although I do love the history channel and Ghost Adventures.  I am a seeker of knowledge.  There is something within me that is perpetually hungry for knowledge all the time.  Once one appetite is satisfied, I move on to another book about another subject.  I love reading.

I also love blogs.  What a great place to get to read the posts of friends and new acquaintances.  It’s fun to see what other people are up to and all the creative ideas going around out there. 

Take a moment today to be thankful for the ability to read and write, just think how small our world would be if we didn’t have all the knowledge we have so readily available now.  Even the movies and television we love to watch exists because someone wrote a script or told a story.  I’m truly thankful for my parents and teachers who taught me to read and write, and that learning is never a waste of time.

Cherry Coley (c)

Quote Jan 29, 2013

“There is little to be learned by doing nothing. When you conceive an idea in which you fervently believe, go after that idea – especially if people you respect believe it’s a good one. Hang in there and I’ll SEE YOU AT THE TOP!” - Zig Ziglar

Take a moment today to be thankful for the blessing in your life.  Be thankful for your job, your family and friends, the roof over your head, the ability to read, and learn.  There are so many things we take for granted each day.  Look around you today and be thankful.

I am thankful for you.  No one can ever take your place, you are unique, one of a kind.  Only you have the ability to do the things you do the way you do them.  Only you know all the people in your life that you can touch with a simple act of kindness.  You can make a difference.

Cherry Coley (c)

Grief as a Teacher

photo by Casey Keal

photo by Casey Keal

Grief can play with your mind and your perception of the way events happened.  The tricks of the mind can lead to feelings of regret and guilt, hurt and betrayal, and leave you with a feeling of loss that can drive you to your knees at times.

All week the residual feelings of the grief felt earlier this week have been with me.  I finally got to the point I was asking “what is it I’m supposed to see or learn here?” “What am I missing, and why am I feeling this way?”

By asking these type of questions the feeling of distress is lifted a bit so that I can see what I need see instead of lingering on thoughts of how I wish things had been.  My girls are teenagers and the oldest is getting ready to move on with her life.  She is trying to find her way, changing her mind, debating what she wants, and taking her first steps forward.

Through the other milestones with my kids, my mom has been here.  She was my voice of encouragement, my voice of reason, the person that would laugh at my worrying and say, “karma works.” 

I think of all the times I was out too late at night, talking on the phone and tying up the line (before the age of personal cell phones), trying to find my way and changing my mind, and often driving my mom crazy with my ideas and dreams.

There are days when I feel lost without mom, yet I know her words, her wisdom and her love live on in me.  I will not forget, Mom, I will remember and we will go forward.

Cherry Coley (c)

Give A Little Love

100_5605Give a little love, do something nice and spread some cheer every chance you get. 

Like ripples on the water everything thing we do creates an effect on our environment and the people around us.  Yesterday I was feeling rather blue and had several friends that were kind by calling to say they were thinking about me, or texting me to cheer me up.  One of them helped me to see things in a different light as he often does.

It’s important to surround yourself with people who are interested in learning about you and who you are.  People that share some of the same interests, have opposing opinions and aren’t afraid to share them, and people who are just fun to be around.  We all really need a variety of friends to spend time with and keep us on our toes, to offer our support and encouragement, and to share with and learn from.

I have a couple of Eeyore type personality friends that have a sarcastic sense of humor and a realist outlook that borders on gloom, but they are good-natured and I love hearing from them. 

I am thankful for the people in my life.  We are all here to work together and help each other along the way.  Each of us have our unique gifts and talents that make us who we are.  It’s such a thrill to meet someone new and have the time to get to know them.

Cherry Coley (c)

I Want My Mommy!

Today I miss my mom.  It’s not that I don’t miss her every day, but today the gaping hole in my chest where my parents used to be was hurting more. 

I had been doing so much better, I was moving forward, getting things done and looking forward to the future and SLAM, grief strikes again.  I hate that. 

Grief has a way of popping up at times and turning the world upside down when you least expect it.  It’s just the way it works unfortunately.  The name of this round of grief is called – “things I wish I’d done differently.”  The worst part of this round was not thinking of the things I would have done differently with my parents, (I went thru that part last year). 

This was about things I wish I’d done differently in other areas of my life, with my ex-husband, my kids, my school days, and all the time I wasted doing stuff that didn’t really matter or turn out the way I wanted in the end. 

My kids are growing up so fast and I still have questions, but no more answers.  There are things that they bring up and do that I don’t know how to approach, so I make suggestions and do research.  I feel inadequate at times, though I know it’s not true. 

If my mom were here she would listen to my worries and insecurities and tell me to “suck it up,” and “karma works,” then smile and even laugh at me because I put her through many of the same issues and how well I remember that. 

The things we thought were so fun as kids – like staying out too late, and talking on the phone all night, are not so funny as a parent.  Life is a circle, that’s for sure.

I am thankful for the time I had with my mom and my dad.  I’m thankful they always had my best interests at heart, even though they didn’t always understand me. 

I am thankful I have two daughters, that remind me that life goes on and sometimes you have to look back to appreciate where you came from before you can go forward. 

Cherry Coley (c)

Quote Jan 21, 2013

” Any intelligent fool can make things bigger and more complex.  It takes a touch of genius and a lot of courage to move in the opposite direction.” – Albert Einstein.

Spilled Cookies – New Look Coming Soon!

Time changes everything.  I have been on a soul-searching path for several years now, last year was a time of grief and rebuilding and that is an ongoing process.  Rewriting your life and changing direction takes time, courage, lots of study, self-evaluation and learning to humble oneself to be open to change itself.

I will be working to change SpilledCookies to go in a new direction as my life is changing as well.  This blog has been a great way to gain insight and self-confidence, to share points of view, to trade ideas and I have enjoyed writing here. 

I am not saying goodbye, but instead saying there are better days ahead!  While I have shared some personal stories here, a lot of my posts are my point of view about different subjects, the new site will hold more of each, plus a new adventure/outreach I will be starting soon.  I hope you will enjoy the new SpilledCookies even more.

Cherry Coley (c)

 

My philosophy for Spilled Cookies still holds true:

Originally posted on spilledcookies:

It’s funny how names come to you.  I struggled with what to name my blog, I wanted something catchy and memorable, but really had no idea of what to call it.  Then one Saturday I was making cookies for a friend’s birthday and as I was taking them out of the oven I managed to clip the oven door with the pan, shift it in my hand so that the pot-holder slipped and wind up dropping them on the floor.  Yep, I had spilled cookies all over the floor.

Then it I remembered doing this same thing before as a teenager.  My brother was off at college and came home on the weekends to do laundry, get food, and I liked to make him a big batch of chocolate chip cookies to take with him back to college when he came. 

I was baking up a nice big batch of…

View original 315 more words

Doctor Doctor!

doctorsexterioraerial300Today I am thankful for doctors.  I spent a lot of time in hospitals with my mom over the years.  She was a 3 time cancer survivor and had other health problems that came about due to the lingering effects of the chemotherapy she had to endure.

 I am thankful for the care and kindness of the nurses that would come in and check on us, and the doctor taking the time to explain the parts of the treatment that we didn’t understand.  I am also thankful for the Chaplains who would take the time to come by and visit with mom when we couldn’t be there.

 In some of the hospitals the rooms were made where you could stay overnight if you wanted which was really nice.  I am thankful that both my parents had good attitudes while they were in the hospital which also helps. 

I had to have cesarean sections with both of my daughters.  I am thankful for the skill and care of the nurses and doctors that made sure that we were all healthy and well cared for. 

 I don’t really like to be in hospitals because they bring back so many memories, but I am thankful that we have hospitals and that they are available when we need them.  I am thankful for all the men and women who work tirelessly, under paid and many time underappreciated to give us that good care that is needed.

I do not have the stomach or the temperament to be a doctor or a nurse, but I am thankful there are people that do. When was the last time you stopped to think about your doctor and nurse as people, with homes and loved ones of their own?  I know there have been times when I called after hours and my doctor took the time to call me back to answer my questions.  That was time taken away from his family.  Take a moment today to send your doctor a thank you note, or a card of encouragement, you will make their day and remind them that what they do really does make a difference.

Cherry Coley (c)

The End or the Beginning?

“Every Beginning has an end, every end had a beginning.” 

It’s a funny quote that can lead to some deep thought if you let it.  It’s sad sometimes when things come to an end.  There are a lot of things we don’t like to see end, yet everything in life has a beginning and an end.

When relationships end it can be a sad event.  You don’t really want them to, but things just start to drift apart.  Sometimes you can stop the drifting and sometimes you can’t.  I’ve been in relationships like that where things just changed and it was time for the relationship to change too.  On a few of those occasions I was fortunate enough to see the relationship evolve and become a lasting friendship, in other cases it was simply time to say goodbye.

How we respond to the changes in life can help define who we become.  After all, if there is one thing that is constant and certain in life it is the fact that life will change.  We will lose people, animals, friends, family, in our lives.  They will leave, move, die, or just choose not to be a part of our lives anymore.  It’s just the way things go

We have a choice how we will respond to these changes.  We can hold on for dear life and choke any chance for reconciliation or healing out of existence.  Or we can learn to truly love with an open hand and realize that love, friendship, all relationships (other than those of parent and child) are a choice.  Actually, in some ways I suppose the parent and child relationship is a choice too. 

Keeping in mind that the people in your life are there because they CHOOSE to be there can lend a different perspective.  Realizing that it’s a choice that they are there can make a you appreciate the other person more, treasure and make the most of your time you do have together instead of wondering why the person falls short of all the expectations  put on them. Take a moment to appreciate that they are there because they care and they want to be there, and maybe a different approach is what is needed if there is stress in the relationship.  Take a break.

This is life, there are no dress rehearsals, no redo’s, no rewind or erasing moments that suck.  You get what you get and you don’t throw a fit.  BUT…isn’t it nice, we have a choice, we can get up in the morning and change our attitude to thinking that each day, is a new beginning and then make it happen.

Tomorrow, will be the start of something new.

Cherry Coley (c)