Change and Wishes

Being in such a state of change and self-reflection this year has proven to be a challenging, heartbreaking, sometimes tormenting, and sometimes joyful, happy, amazing experience.  The roller coaster of emotions brought on by great change can seem like too much to bear at times.  Yet the times like this – depending on how we choose to respond – can offer the most personal growth.

In the process I have had to seek and out and remove some words and thought patterns from my vocabulary that have been getting in my way of either seeing things clearly or creating obstacles that turn into excuses.  Some of the words and phrases are:

  • It’s always been done that way
  • I’m nervous/scared
  • It’s going to take too long
  • It’s too hard
  • What will my family / friends think?
  • I can’t afford it
  • It’s risky
  • I don’t deserve it
  • It’s not my nature
  • I’m too busy
  • No one will help me

 I have been going through and creating affirmations to ward off each of those excuses, steadfastly cutting them out of my life and silencing them as they come up to block me from moving forward.  The one that I came up against this last weekend caught me off guard.  I honestly didn’t realize how much I was saying it and how much energy I was spending on basically, nothing.  The words I have to push away now are “I wish.” 

 I find myself saying things to people like – “I wish you were here,”  “I wish we could go to….”  “I wish we had more time together,” too much wishing.  It has now bled into other areas for other reasons such as: “I wish I could get my car painted,”  “I wish the backdoor would lock better,”  “I wish I could travel to Ireland,” or “I wish I could go spend some time with my long distance friends.” 

I just realized how truly ridiculous it all sounds.  Seriously?  What am I doing wishing so much?  Life isn’t about “wishing” – life is about “living.”  If you spend all your time and energy wishing for things you, aren’t living in the present and making things happen. 

It’s interesting what we wind up seeing as our limits and how we create excuses to justify staying stuck and keeping those limits in place.  The truth is that the limits you are living with – you have created yourself.  The person keeping you from reaching your goals and fulfilling your dreams is you. 

Do some soul searching, find the things that inner voice uses to keep you in that limited frame of mind, realize that the inner voice – is you and you can learn to silence it or reprogram it to move forward instead of staying stuck.  Even more important, if you find yourself constantly wishing for things to happen, realize that you have the ability to make them happen, but you have to first realize where you are and why, then take the steps to move forward.  It’s time to stop wishing and start living.

Cherry Coley ©

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5 comments

  1. Great post! I can relate to so much of what you wrote. After my mom died I felt so lost. I never realized the impact she had on my life and on the family until she was gone. Everyone was looking to me to “fill” my mom’s shoes in a way. For a while I tried to me more like my mom, always thinking I wish I was more like her. But I am not my mom, I am me, and that’s ok. I will always wish that my mom was still here with us, but I am not letting it hold me back in life. My mom has been gone almost 4 years now, and for at least 2 of those years, I wasn’t live, just existing. Now I am living, which I know is what my mom would have wanted me to do. Thanks for sharing.

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